Do you ever feel like you just have no idea what is going on, where you are going, or even who you are? That’s me right now. From mid summer of 2017 to early January 2018 I was stuck. I felt like I lost complete control of my life to the point where I just didn’t feel like me. Don’t get me wrong, I still kind of feel that way, but the more I am accepting it the more I am getting back to me. I went through a phase of spending money on a new wardrobe and cutting my hair for the sake of change.

Change is often looked at as a negative thing, and it can be but it shouldn’t be. I kept feeling like everything and everyone was changing and I couldn’t keep up. I felt like everything was going downhill and I had to change as well to keep up. I began to lose myself. It was like I didn’t even recognize myself anymore. This also began to trigger lots of anxiety.

Once I was able to admit what was going on i felt a bit relieved. It felt like I was finally taking the first step to getting my life back. This was only the beginning. I decided to not only embrace the change, but mix it with the old as well. While I was taking on new hobbies, looks, etc, I was mixing it with the old me. I would be sitting there listening to the latest Post Malone track, then shortly after I would play some Jonas Brothers like the old days.

This actually taught me a lot. While it is very important to embrace change, you should never forget where you came from or where it all started. Change isn’t bad. It’s good. I may still be in the process of finding myself, but now I am determined.

I don’t know where life is going to take me, but I sure as heck can’t wait.

 

ardently (2)

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